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Cyberbullying

Bullying that happens through phones, computers, tablets and games, such as cruel messages, rumors, embarrassing posts or pretending to be someone.

What It Means

Cyberbullying is bullying carried out with phones, computers, tablets and games: sending threatening or humiliating messages, spreading rumors or doctored images, pretending to be someone to damage their name, or getting others to shut someone out. StopBullying.gov, run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, points out what sets it apart from playground bullying: it can reach a child at any hour, and what's posted tends to stay public unless someone reports it and gets it removed. Some forms cross the line into crimes such as harassment.

Try It: Pick What Happened and See Where to Report It

Pick what happened to see who to tell first, based on StopBullying.gov and NCMEC. Tell a parent or another trusted adult in every case.

Report it to

The app or site, and the school if classmates are involved

Save what was sent before anything gets deleted, so you can show it when you report.

How Parents Say It

  • "They made a group chat just to make fun of her."
  • "Someone made a fake account with my name."
  • "He won't put his phone down, but he looks upset every time he checks it."

The Breakdown

Warning signs, per StopBullying.gov

  • A big jump or drop in how much they use their phone or computer
  • Getting angry, upset or laughing hard at what's on the screen
  • Hiding the screen or device when someone comes near, and dodging questions about it
  • Social media accounts shut down, or new ones appearing

What it can look like by age

AgeWhere it often shows up (examples)
Younger childrenGame chats and group messages on a family tablet
TweensTweenA child in the years just before becoming a teenager, roughly the late elementary and middle school years. Another word for preteen. See moreGroup chats, first social media accounts, shared photos
TeensSocial media, fake accounts, rumors and edited images

What to do first

  1. Notice changes in mood or behavior and whether they follow device use, as StopBullying.gov suggests.
  2. Talk calmly and make it clear your child isn't in trouble.
  3. Keep a record of messages and posts.
  4. Report it to the app, game or platform, and to the school when classmates are involved.
  5. Go to the police for physical threats or anything that may be a crime, and to NCMEC's CyberTipline for sexual images or pressure.

When to talk to the doctor. If your child seems withdrawn, anxious, sad, or stops wanting to go to school, talk with their pediatrician as well as the school.

Good to Know

StopBullying.gov notes that some states have prosecuted young people who bully for criminal harassment, and that physical threats or a possible crime belong with the police. Laws and school policies differ by state and district, so ask the school for its bullying policy. What a child posts now can surface later for colleges and employers, which is worth saying to a child who is tempted to pile on.

FAQ

What counts as cyberbullying?

StopBullying.gov includes threatening or humiliating messages, spreading rumors or doctored images, pretending to be someone to damage their reputation, and organizing others to exclude a person, all done through phones, computers or games.

When should I call the police about cyberbullying?

StopBullying.gov says to report it to the police if your child receives physical threats or if a crime may be happening. For sexual images or pressure to send them, also report to NCMEC's CyberTipline at 1-800-843-5678.

What are the signs my child is being cyberbullied?

StopBullying.gov lists a noticeable change in device use, strong emotional reactions to what's on the screen, hiding the device, and social media accounts closing or new ones appearing.

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Household Notes

Keep the school's bullying contact, the steps you'll take and the reporting numbers in Household Notes in Buhata, so any adult at home can act quickly.

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Related Terms and Categories

  • Online safety for kids

    The habits, rules and tools that help children use the internet, apps and games while avoiding harm such as scams, cruelty, and adults who try to exploit them.

  • Parental controls

    Settings and tools that let a parent limit what a child can see, download, buy and who they can contact on a device or app, and for how long.

  • Digital citizenship

    Using technology and the internet in ways that are safe, responsible, legal and respectful of other people.

Parenting and child development

Sources

StopBullying.gov (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services), "What Is Cyberbullying"; StopBullying.gov, "Prevent Cyberbullying"; StopBullying.gov, "Cyberbullying Tactics"; StopBullying.gov, "How to Prevent Cyberbullying: A Guide for Parents, Caregivers, and Youth"; NCMEC, "CyberTipline"

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