Parenting and child development

Milestones, stages and the words pediatricians and parents use as children grow.

0 to 9

2-2-3 custody scheduleAn equal-time custody rotation in which a child spends 2 days with one parent, 2 with the other, then 3 with the first, flipping the next week.

A

Academic redshirtingChoosing to start a child in kindergarten a year after they first become old enough, usually to give a young child more time to grow.

ADHD in kidsAttention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in children: ongoing trouble paying attention, sitting still or controlling impulses, beyond what's usual for their age.

Age-appropriate choresHousehold jobs matched to what a child can safely and realistically do at their age, growing in difficulty as they get older.

Attachment parentingA parenting approach from Dr. William and Martha Sears built on closeness and quick response to a baby's cues. The AAP advises room-sharing without bed-sharing.

Authoritarian parentingA parenting style high in rules and control but low in warmth, where children are expected to obey without discussion. One of the four styles in parenting research.

Authoritative parentingA parenting style that pairs warmth and responsiveness with clear rules and high expectations. It is one of the four styles in parenting research.

Autism spectrumAutism spectrum disorder: a developmental disability affecting social communication and interaction, with restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests.

B

Bedtime battlesThe nightly struggle when a child stalls, protests or keeps getting out of bed instead of settling down to sleep at bedtime.

BedwettingPassing urine without meaning to while asleep, also called nighttime wetting or nocturnal enuresis. It's common in children and usually outgrown.

Benefits of boredomThe idea that unstructured, unfilled time can help children build creativity, problem solving and the ability to entertain themselves.

Birth orderA child's position among siblings (firstborn, middle, youngest or only), and the popular theory that this position shapes personality.

Body autonomyThe idea that a person, including a child, has the right to decide what happens to their own body, such as who hugs, kisses or touches them.

Body positivity for kidsHelping a child feel comfortable in and respectful of their own body, with family talk centered on health and what bodies can do rather than on weight.

Boundaries with kidsThe clear limits a parent holds and the sense a child builds of what they are responsible for; also the title of a parenting book by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

C

Co-parentingTwo parents who live apart sharing the job of raising their child, working together on rules, schedules and decisions across both homes.

Co-regulationThe way a calm, caring adult helps a child manage feelings and behavior, through a warm relationship, a steady setting and coaching, until the child can do more alone.

Co-viewingWatching TV, videos or apps together with your child and talking about what you see, rather than handing over a screen to watch alone.

Cognitive developmentHow a child's learning, thinking and problem-solving grow, from finding a dropped toy to drawing shapes and counting.

Connection before correctionA parenting idea from Jane Nelsen's Positive Discipline: calm and reconnect with an upset child first, then deal with the behavior together.

Conscious parentingAn approach, popularized by Dr. Shefali Tsabary, where parents focus on their own reactions, history and self-awareness as the way to change how they respond to a child.

Consent for kidsTeaching children that people ask before touching someone, that a "no" is respected, and that their own "yes" or "no" about their body counts.

Cooperative playPlay in which children work together toward a shared goal, taking roles and following a plan, like building one fort or acting out one story together.

Custody scheduleThe calendar in a parenting plan that says which days and nights a child spends with each parent, including handovers, holidays and school breaks.

CyberbullyingBullying that happens through phones, computers, tablets and games, such as cruel messages, rumors, embarrassing posts or pretending to be someone.

D

Descriptive praisePraise that names exactly what the child did well, such as "You put every block back in the bin," in place of a general "Good job."

Developmental milestonesSkills most children can do by a certain age, like rolling over or waving bye-bye. CDC places each at the age 75% or more of children reach it.

Dialogic readingA way of reading picture books where the adult asks questions and builds on the child's answers, so the child gradually becomes the one telling the story.

Division of responsibility in feedingEllyn Satter's feeding model: the parent decides what, when and where food is served, and the child decides how much to eat and whether to eat.

Drop-off playdateA playdate where you leave your child at a friend's home, or host a friend without their parent, instead of staying for the visit.

E

Early interventionServices under IDEA Part C for babies and toddlers from birth to age 3 who have a developmental delay or disability, and for their families.

Early literacyThe language, sound and book skills a child builds from birth, well before reading, that later support learning to read and write.

Easy temperamentOne of Thomas and Chess's three temperament types: a child with regular eating and sleeping, who adapts readily to change and is mostly in a positive mood.

Emotion coachingA way of responding to a child's feelings: notice the emotion, connect, listen, help name it, then solve the problem together, with limits on behavior.

Emotional regulationThe growing ability to notice a feeling and manage how strongly it shows and how long it lasts, so a child can calm down and carry on.

Empathy developmentHow a child learns to notice, understand and care about what other people feel, from spotting a crying friend at 2 to comforting one by 4.

Executive functionThe mental skills that let a person plan, focus, remember instructions and control impulses: working memory, mental flexibility and self-control.

Expressive languageThe sending side of language: putting wants, thoughts and ideas into words, signs, gestures or writing. Receptive language is the understanding side.

Extracurricular activitiesOrganized activities a child does outside regular class time, like sports, music, clubs or scouts, usually after school or on weekends.

F

Fine motor skillsSmall, precise movements of the wrists, hands and fingers, like picking up small bits of food, scribbling, stringing beads or doing buttons.

Fixed mindsetThe belief that abilities like intelligence and talent are fixed and can't change much, a term from psychologist Carol Dweck's research.

Food neophobiaA child's reluctance or fear of trying unfamiliar foods, a normal stage that researchers say peaks around ages 2 to 6.

Fourth trimesterThe weeks after a baby is born, treated by ACOG as a stage of care in its own right, with provider contact in 3 weeks and a full visit by 12 weeks.

Free-range parentingA parenting approach, named by Lenore Skenazy, that gives children age-appropriate freedom to do things alone, like walking to school or playing outside unwatched.

Friendship skillsThe abilities that help a child make and keep friends, such as sharing, taking turns, joining in, handling disagreements and caring how a friend feels.

G

Gentle parentingAn approach that pairs empathy for a child's feelings with clear, consistent limits, with the parent acting as a coach through hard moments.

Gross motor skillsMovements that use the large muscles of the arms, legs and torso, like rolling over, sitting, walking, running and kicking a ball.

Growth mindsetThe belief that abilities like intelligence and talent can grow with effort, good strategies and help, a term from psychologist Carol Dweck.

Growth spurtA short stretch when a child grows faster than usual in height and weight, common in the first year and again around puberty.

H

Helicopter parentingA style of parenting where a parent stays overly involved in a child's life, hovering close to manage problems, choices and schoolwork, sometimes into adulthood.

Highly sensitive childResearcher Elaine Aron's term for a child with the trait she calls sensory processing sensitivity: deep processing, easily overstimulated, strongly responsive.

K

Kindergarten readinessHow prepared a child is for kindergarten, in social, emotional, language, thinking and physical skills, alongside meeting their state's entry age.

L

Language developmentHow a child learns to understand and use sounds, gestures and words, from early squeals to first words, two-word phrases and short stories.

Latchkey kidA school-age child who comes home to an empty house and spends time there without an adult, usually while parents work.

Lawnmower parentingA parent who clears obstacles out of a child's way before the child meets them, so the child rarely faces difficulty or failure. Also called snowplow parenting.

Life skills for kidsThe everyday abilities children need to handle daily life, from WHO's thinking and people skills to practical ones like cooking and self-care.

Limit settingDeciding and calmly holding the rules for what a child may and may not do, explained in words the child can understand and followed through every time.

Logical consequencesA consequence a parent sets up that is directly tied to what the child did, like toys left out being put away for the rest of the day.

Love languages for kidsGary Chapman and Ross Campbell's idea that each child feels loved most through one of five ways: words, time, gifts, acts of service or touch.

M

MatrescenceThe process of becoming a mother, seen as a developmental stage like adolescence, a term anthropologist Dana Raphael introduced in 1973.

Middle child syndromeA popular idea that middle children feel overlooked between older and younger siblings; it isn't a medical or psychological diagnosis.

Mom rageAn everyday phrase for sudden, intense anger mothers describe, often after a birth; Cleveland Clinic calls the postpartum form postpartum rage.

Montessori at homeUsing Maria Montessori's ideas at home: a child-sized, orderly space, real tasks shown step by step, and room for the child to do things independently.

N

Natural consequencesThe result that follows a child's choice on its own, with no adult arranging it, such as a thrown toy that breaks and can't be played with.

NeurodivergentA nonmedical word for a person whose brain develops or works differently from what's considered typical, as with autism, ADHD or a learning disability.

Night terrorsEpisodes in which a sleeping child suddenly screams, thrashes or looks terrified without really waking, usually early in the night, and has no memory of it later.

Number senseA child's growing feel for numbers: knowing how many are in a small group, counting objects one by one, and knowing the last number counted is the total.

O

Occupational therapyTherapy that helps a child do the everyday activities of childhood, such as playing, learning, eating, dressing and sleeping, by building skills or adapting the task.

Online safety for kidsThe habits, rules and tools that help children use the internet, apps and games while avoiding harm such as scams, cruelty, and adults who try to exploit them.

Open-ended playPlay with toys or materials that have no single right way to use them, like blocks, boxes or playdough, so the child decides what they become.

P

Parallel parentingA way for separated parents in high conflict to both stay involved while keeping direct contact to a minimum and running each home by its own rules.

Parental burnoutExhaustion from the job of parenting that builds when its demands outweigh a parent's resources for a long time, often with emotional distance from the children.

Parental controlsSettings and tools that let a parent limit what a child can see, download, buy and who they can contact on a device or app, and for how long.

Parenting planThe written arrangement, usually made into a court order, that says how separated parents share decisions and time with their children.

Parenting styleThe overall way a parent guides a child, usually described on two dimensions, warmth and demands, which give four styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and uninvolved.

Permissive parentingA parenting style that is warm and accepting but sets few rules or limits. Researchers also call it indulgent parenting; it is one of the four styles.

Phone contract for kidsA written agreement between a parent and child that sets the rules for the child's phone: when, where and how it's used, and what happens if a rule is broken.

Phonemic awarenessThe ability to hear, pick out and play with the single sounds (phonemes) in spoken words, like hearing that "cat" is made of three sounds.

Picking your battlesDeciding which of a child's behaviors need a firm limit, like safety, and which small ones to let go, so the rules that matter can be enforced every time.

Positive disciplineDiscipline that teaches a child how to behave through modeling, clear limits, calm consequences and attention, without hitting, yelling or shaming.

Positive parentingRaising children through warmth, attention, praise for good behavior and teaching, with discipline that avoids harsh punishment. The CDC publishes age-by-age tips.

Postpartum depressionDepression that begins in the weeks or months after a baby is born, up to a year, lasting 2 weeks or longer and stronger than the baby blues.

Praise vs encouragementA distinction from Adlerian parenting: praise credits the child for a result, while encouragement credits effort, improvement and what the child did.

Pretend playPlay in which a child acts out something that isn't real, like feeding a doll, using a block as a phone, or being a superhero.

Primary caregiverThe adult who provides most of a child's day-to-day care and is usually the child's main attachment figure in the early years.

Process praisePraise for how a child worked, such as effort, strategy, focus or persistence, rather than for a trait like being smart or talented.

PubertyThe years when a child's body matures into an adult's, usually starting between about 8 and 13 in girls and 9 and 14 in boys, per Cleveland Clinic.

Q

Quality time with kidsTime a parent spends giving a child full, undistracted attention, like a few minutes of one-on-one play where the child leads.

R

Reading aloudReading a book out loud with a child, from birth on. The AAP advises it because shared reading builds language, early literacy skills and the parent-child bond.

Reggio Emilia approachAn approach to early childhood education from the city of Reggio Emilia, Italy, shaped by Loris Malaguzzi, that sees children as capable researchers with a hundred languages.

ResilienceThe capacity to adapt and keep developing well in the face of hardship. In children it's built above all through a stable, supportive relationship with an adult.

RIE parentingAn approach to caring for babies and toddlers, from Magda Gerber's Resources for Infant Educarers, built on respect, trust in the baby's abilities and unhurried care.

Risky playThrilling play with a real chance of a small injury, like climbing high, going fast or rough-and-tumble games, where the child judges the risk for themselves.

Rituals of connectionSmall, predictable routines a family or couple repeats to stay close, like a bedtime chat or a Sunday walk. The term is the Gottman Institute's.

Rupture and repairThe normal cycle of falling out of sync with a child (a rupture) and reconnecting afterward (a repair), studied in parent and infant research.

S

Screen timeThe time a child spends using screens such as TVs, tablets, phones, computers and game consoles, counted across a day or a week.

Screen-free timeSet times or places in a family's day, like meals, bedrooms or the hour before bed, when phones, TVs, tablets and games stay off.

Self-esteemHow a person feels about themselves and what they can do. In a child, healthy self-esteem shows as feeling liked, accepted and able to try again after a mistake.

Self-regulationA child's growing ability to manage their own feelings, attention and actions, like calming down, waiting a turn or sticking with a hard task.

Sensory overloadWhen sounds, lights, crowds, touch or other input become more than a child's senses can handle, often ending in distress or a meltdown.

Sensory playPlay that invites a child to touch, squish, pour, smell, listen and look, such as sand, water, playdough or textured materials.

Sensory processingHow the brain takes in and responds to what a child hears, sees, touches, tastes and smells.

Sensory seekingA pattern where a child keeps looking for strong sensations, like tight hugs, fast movement or crashing into things, because ordinary input feels faint.

Single parentA parent raising one or more children without a spouse or partner living in the home.

Slow-to-warm-up childOne of Thomas and Chess's three temperament types: a child who holds back from new people and places at first, then warms up with repeated exposure.

Social-emotional developmentHow a child learns to understand their own feelings, read other people's, and build relationships, from early smiles to taking turns in games.

Speech delayWhen a child's talking develops more slowly than most children the same age, in making speech sounds, in using words, or both.

Speech therapyTreatment from a speech-language pathologist to help a child with speech sounds, understanding and using language, social communication or swallowing.

Spirited childParent educator Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's term for a child who is more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent and energetic than most. It isn't a diagnosis.

Stay-at-home parentA parent who stays home to care for the children and run the household instead of working for pay outside the home.

Sticker chartA chart where a young child earns a sticker right after each target behavior, with stickers adding up to small and larger rewards.

Stranger anxietyA baby's wariness or fear around people they don't know, often showing up at about 8 to 9 months. CDC lists it as a 9-month milestone.

Stranger dangerThe old rule telling children to fear and avoid all strangers. NCMEC now teaches kids to spot risky situations, since most abducted children are taken by someone they know.

T

Tantrum vs meltdownA tantrum is an outburst in which a child still has some control; a meltdown is a loss of control from feeling overwhelmed.

Teen brainThe way the brain keeps developing through adolescence; NIMH says it finishes maturing in the mid-to-late 20s, with the prefrontal cortex among the last parts.

TemperamentA child's inborn style of reacting to the world, like how active, regular, intense or quick to adapt they are, which shapes behavior from infancy.

Terrible twosAn everyday name for the toddler stage around age 2 when a child wants to do things alone but lacks the words for big feelings, so tantrums and "no" peak.

Tiger parentingA strict, demanding style that pushes children hard toward academic and musical achievement, named after Amy Chua's 2011 memoir "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother."

Time-outA short, set break in a time-out spot after a misbehavior a child was warned about, about one minute per year of age in CDC's toddler guidance.

Token economyA reward system where a person earns tokens, like stars or points, for target behaviors and trades them for chosen rewards.

Tricky peoplePattie Fitzgerald's name for anyone, known or unknown, whose behavior should put a child on guard. Taught in place of "stranger danger."

TweenA child in the years just before becoming a teenager, roughly the late elementary and middle school years. Another word for preteen.

U

Uninvolved parentingA parenting style low in both warmth and rules, where a parent gives little attention, guidance or supervision. Also called neglectful parenting.

Unstructured playPlay a child chooses and directs, with no adult-set rules, lesson or goal, like making up a game in the yard or building whatever comes to mind.

W

Waldorf approachAn approach to education founded by Rudolf Steiner in 1919 that follows stages of childhood, with play and imitation early and formal academics starting later.

Week-on week-off scheduleAn equal-time custody schedule in which a child lives with one parent for a full week, then the other, switching on the same day each week.

Work-from-home parentA parent who does some or all of their paid work from home while also raising children.

Working parentA parent who holds a paid job, full time or part time, while raising children.