Holiday stress

What It Means

Holiday stress is the strain that builds up around the end-of-year holidays, when spending, travel, hosting and family time all land in the same few weeks. The American Psychological Association's holiday tipsHoliday tippingA year-end tip or gift for people who provide regular services, such as a babysitter, cleaner or newspaper carrier, guided by etiquette rather than any rule. See more speak to the usual sources: money, more to do than one person can manage, and expectations that the season should look a certain way. It usually eases once the season ends; low feelings that stay after the holidays are a different matter and worth raising with a doctor.

How People Say It

• "I just want one quiet weekend in December."
• "We're doing three family dinners in two days."
• "I'm already dreading the credit card bill."

The Breakdown

The steps, from the American Psychological Association's holiday tips

1. Set realistic expectations. Plan for a good holiday rather than a flawless one, and treat the burned dish as something to laugh about later.
2. Take time for yourself. Block out an hour that belongs to nobody else, even in the busiest week.
3. Scale back the spending. Put a number on gifts, food and travel before buying anything, and keep the focus on the people.
4. Talk about it. Tell a close friend or family member what's getting to you; APA says getting worries out in the open can help you sort through how you feel.
5. Give some time. APA suggests volunteering with a local charity, which can lift your mood and put your own worries in perspective.
6. Be straight with the kids. If wish lists run past what you can spend, explain what's realistic this year.

Try it today. Write down the three things you're dreading most about the season. Next to each one, put the step above that fits it, and do the smallest part of it this week.

Good to Know

APA's own release on the subject is titled "Holiday blues that linger could be warning sign of depression," so sadness that carries on after the season deserves a call to your doctor. If you have thoughts of suicide or are in a mental health crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. In an emergency, call 911. If a partner frightens, threatens or controls you, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or text START to 88788.

Related Terms and Categories

• Self-care

  Taking time to do things that help you live well and look after your physical and mental health, such as moving, sleeping, resting and staying in touch.

• Holiday budget

  A spending plan for the holiday season that sets how much you'll spend on gifts, food, travel and decorations before the shopping starts.

• Loneliness

  The painful feeling that you lack close, meaningful relationships or a sense of belonging, whether or not other people are around you.

• Financial anxiety

  Ongoing worry or unease about money, your bills or how you handle your finances, sometimes with physical signs such as lost sleep.

Holidays and celebrations