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Caregiver burnout

Physical, emotional and mental exhaustion that can build when you spend your time and energy looking after someone else's health and safety.

What It Means

Caregiver burnoutBurnout at workExhaustion, cynicism about your job and a drop in how effective you feel, which WHO links to chronic workplace stress that hasn't been managed. See more is the exhaustion that can set in when you look after someone else's health and safety over a long stretch, such as an aging parent, a partner with a long illness or a child with a disability. Cleveland Clinic describes it as physical, emotional and mental exhaustion.

Try It: Build a Respite Plan You'll Use

Tick each piece of a break plan you already have. The list is Buhata's suggestion, built on respite advice from the Family Caregiver Alliance.

Pieces in place0
Out of6

Start with the 5-minute daily pause. The Family Caregiver Alliance counts small breaks like this as respite too.

How People Say It

  • "I haven't had a day off from looking after Dad in a year."
  • "I love her, but I'm running on fumes."
  • "Nobody asks how I'm doing anymore."

The Breakdown

Signs Cleveland Clinic lists

  • Emotional and physical exhaustion
  • Pulling away from friends and family
  • Losing interestInterest rateThe yearly percentage a lender charges for borrowing money, not counting fees; the APR adds certain fees to show a fuller cost. See more in things you used to enjoy
  • Feeling hopeless or helpless
  • Changes in appetite, weight or sleep
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Getting sick more often
  • Irritability or anger toward others

A short self-check (Buhata's suggestion). Count how many of the signs above have been true most days for the last two weeks, and how many hours you had to yourself last week. Several signs and almost no time off is a reason to change the plan this week.

Starting the conversation. "I've been doing all of Mom's care myself and I'm wearing out. Could you take Tuesday evenings, so I can rest and see my own doctor?"

Good to Know

The Family Caregiver Alliance describes respite as a temporary break that can last from a few hours to several weeks, and notes it can also be a few minutes a day of your own time. For your own health, the National Institute on Aging's caregiver tips cover looking after yourself while you care for someone else. See a doctor or a licensed mental health professional when exhaustion or low mood lasts or gets in the way of daily life. If you're thinking about suicide or are in crisis, call or text 988 (the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). Anyone also caring for a new baby can reach the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline, from HRSA, which is free, confidential and open 24/7 by call or text at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262). Call 911 in an emergency.

FAQ

What are the signs of caregiver burnout?

Cleveland Clinic lists exhaustion, withdrawing from friends and family, losing interest in activities, hopelessness, changes in appetite, weight or sleep, trouble concentrating, getting sick more often, and irritability or anger.

What is respite care?

A temporary break for the main caregiverPrimary caregiverThe adult who provides most of a child's day-to-day care and is usually the child's main attachment figure in the early years. See more, while someone else takes over. The Family Caregiver Alliance says it can run from a few hours to several weeks, and that a few minutes a day for yourself counts too.

Is caregiver burnout the same as compassion fatigue?

They overlap. Caregiver burnout centers on exhaustion from long-term care of one person, while research describes compassion fatigueCompassion fatigueThe emotional toll of caring for people who are suffering, which researchers describe as burnout combined with stress from exposure to others' trauma. See more as burnout plus stress from exposure to other people's trauma, often in helping jobs.

Do It in Buhata

Household Space, Calendar and Duty Rotation (Premium)

Put the person you care for's appointments on the Calendar in a Household Space, and use Duty Rotation (Premium) to share the repeating jobs with family.

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Related Terms and Categories

  • Compassion fatigue

    The emotional toll of caring for people who are suffering, which researchers describe as burnout combined with stress from exposure to others' trauma.

  • Parental burnout

    Exhaustion from the job of parenting that builds when its demands outweigh a parent's resources for a long time, often with emotional distance from the children.

  • Mental load

    The unseen work of noticing, planning and remembering everything a household needs, even when someone else carries out the task.

  • Self-care

    Taking time to do things that help you live well and look after your physical and mental health, such as moving, sleeping, resting and staying in touch.

  • Bereavement leave

    Time off work after the death of a family member or someone close, paid or unpaid depending on the employer's policy and state law.

  • FMLA

    The Family and Medical Leave Act, a federal law giving eligible employees up to 12 workweeks of unpaid, job-protected leave a year for family and medical reasons.

Wellbeing and habits

Sources

Cleveland Clinic, "Caregiver Burnout: What It Is, Symptoms & Prevention"; Family Caregiver Alliance, "Respite Tips: Taking a Break From Giving Care to Someone in Need"; National Institute on Aging, "Taking Care of Yourself: Tips for Caregivers"; 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline; HRSA Maternal and Child Health Bureau, "National Maternal Mental Health Hotline"

Last updated .