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Emotional labor

Managing your feelings and expressions as part of a paid job, a term from sociologist Arlie Hochschild; now also used for unpaid emotional work at home.

What It Means

(1) In its original sense, emotional labor is managing your own feelings and the way you show them because a paid job requires it, like a flight attendant staying calm and friendly for passengers. Sociologist Arlie Russell Hochschild coined the term in her 1983 book The Managed Heart, and she used a separate phrase, "emotion work," for the same effort in private life. (2) In everyday use today, it also means the unpaid work at home of keeping other people comfortable and family life running smoothly. Hochschild herself has said this wider use stretches the term.

Try It: Sort Three Examples by Meaning

Sort each example into the label that fits it best. Hochschild's two terms cover feelings; the third label is for planning and remembering.

1. A flight attendant stays warm and calm for passengers during bumpy weather.

2. After a hard day, you keep your voice light at dinner so a family argument doesn't start.

3. You keep track of every family birthday and buy all the cards.

Sorted correctly0
Out of3

How It Sounds at Home

  • "I'm tired of being the one who keeps everyone happy."
  • "Smiling at customers all day wears me out."
  • "Why am I always the one smoothing things over with your mom?"

The Breakdown

Signs you do most of it at home

  • You adjust your mood to keep the peace, even when you're upset.
  • You're the one who smooths things over between relatives.
  • You notice how everyone is feeling and step in before trouble starts.
  • You hold back your own reactions so other people stay comfortable.

Signs of it at work, in Hochschild's original sense

  • The job expects a certain face, such as cheerful or calm, whatever you actually feel.
  • The feeling you show is part of what your employer is selling.

Quick self-check. Over the past week, count how often you:

  1. Hid your own frustration to keep someone else calm
  2. Changed your plans around another person's mood
  3. Were the one to smooth over a disagreement
  4. Checked in on how a relative was feeling
  5. Felt drained afterward

If most of these land on you and rarely on anyone else at home, the emotional side of your household may be lopsided. This check is Buhata's own and makes no clinical claim.

A way to start the conversation. "I've noticed I'm usually the one keeping things calm when family visits. Can we talk about how to share that next time?"

Where It Comes From

Arlie Russell Hochschild introduced "emotional labor" in The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling, published in 1983. She studied two groups of workers who deal with the public: flight attendants, whose friendly manner was trained and put to work for the airline, and bill collectors. In the book, "emotional labor" means feeling management sold for a wage, and "emotion work" means the same effort with family and friends. The phrase later spread to the unseen care work women do at home, and in a 2018 interviewJob interviewA conversation in which an employer asks about your experience and skills to decide whether to offer you a job, and you learn about the role. See more with The Atlantic, Hochschild said these newer uses had grown blurry and overextended.

Good to Know

Hochschild's distinction still helps: at work, the feeling you show is part of a paid job, while at home the same effort is unpaid and easy to overlook. If you ever feel you have to manage another person's moods to stay safe, that's more serious than an uneven split of work, and a doctor or licensed counselor can help.

FAQ

Who coined the term emotional labor?

Sociologist Arlie Russell Hochschild, in her 1983 book The Managed Heart. She used it for managing feelings as part of a paid job, drawing on the experiences of flight attendants and bill collectors.

What is the difference between emotional labor and emotion work?

In Hochschild's terms, emotional labor is feeling management done for a wage, as part of a job. Emotion work is the same effort in private life, with family and friends.

Is emotional labor the same as mental load?

They overlap in everyday speech, but they cover different things. Emotional labor is about managing feelings, your own and other people's. Mental loadMental loadThe unseen work of noticing, planning and remembering everything a household needs, even when someone else carries out the task. See more is the planning and remembering behind running a home.

Do It in Buhata

Quick Poll

Use a Quick Poll in your Household Space in Buhata to decide who hosts, calls or plans the next family visit, so that work isn't assumed to fall on one person.

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Related Terms and Categories

  • Mental load

    The unseen work of noticing, planning and remembering everything a household needs, even when someone else carries out the task.

  • Invisible labor

    Work that keeps a home or workplace running but isn't recognized as work, often because it's unpaid or unseen, like planning, scheduling and remembering.

  • Cognitive labor

    The thinking work of running a household: anticipating needs, finding options, making decisions and checking that things got done.

  • Compassion fatigue

    The emotional toll of caring for people who are suffering, which researchers describe as burnout combined with stress from exposure to others' trauma.

Relationships and shared household

Sources

University of California Press, "The Managed Heart" by Arlie Russell Hochschild; ScienceDirect Topics, "Emotional Labor"; Taylor & Francis, "Introduction: Imagining and Reimagining Emotional Labour"

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