What It Means
The Fair Play method is a system for dividing household work between partners, created by Eve Rodsky and set out in her book Fair Play. It treats 100 household tasks as cards in a figurative card game: partners keep only the cards that apply to their home, then take turns claiming the ones they'll own. Owning a card means handling all of it, from conception through planning to execution, and the goal is a split both people see as fair, which may not be an equal one.
Try It: Deal Six Household Task Cards
Six sample tasks, not the book's own list. Deal each card to one of you, or set it aside if your home doesn't have it.
Whoever takes a card owns all of it: noticing it, planning it and doing it.
Every card is dealt and the split is close. Check that each of you would call it fair.
Every card is dealt and one of you holds more. Fair Play aims for fair rather than equal, so talk through whether this split works for both of you.
How It Sounds at Home
- "That's your card now, start to finish."
- "Can we redeal? I'm holding too many cards this month."
- "I've got groceries, so the list is mine too."
The Breakdown
How the card game works
- Sit down together for about an hour, at a time when you're both relaxed.
- Lay out all the task cards and keep only the ones that apply to your household.
- Take turns choosing the cards each of you will own completely.
- For each card you hold, you handle conception, planning and execution.
What owning a card means, using groceries as the example
| Part | What it covers |
|---|---|
| Conception | Noticing you're running low and knowing what the week needs |
| Planning | Making the list and choosing when to shop |
| Execution | Doing the shopping and putting it away |
Signs your home could use it
- One person hands out jobs and the other waits to be told.
- Help arrives as "just tell me what to do."
- Tasks get done, but someone still has to remember them first.
A way to start the conversation. "Can we sit down Sunday for an hour, go through everything the house needs, and each take whole jobs, planning included?"
Where It Comes From
Eve Rodsky created Fair Play after finding herself the defaultLoan defaultFailing to repay a loan as the contract requires, usually after missed payments, which lets the lender use stronger ways to collect. See more parent for every part of her own busy household and deciding that naming the imbalance wasn't enough. Before building the system, she interviewed more than 500 men and women about the invisible workInvisible laborWork that keeps a home or workplace running but isn't recognized as work, often because it's unpaid or unseen, like planning, scheduling and remembering. See more in family life. Penguin Random House publishes her book Fair Play, including a Reese's Book Club edition, and a separate Fair Play Deck of cards.
Good to Know
The aim is a split both of you call fair, and fair may not mean equal. A partner with longer paid work hours might hold fewer cards, for example, as long as you both agree. Fair Play also has four rules that go with the cards, and the book lays them out in full, so read them before your first sit-down.
FAQ
How many cards are in Fair Play?
The system lists 100 household tasks, each as its own card. You keep only the cards that apply to your household and set the rest aside.
What do conception, planning and execution mean in Fair Play?
They're the three parts of every task: noticing it needs doing, working out how, and doing it. Whoever holds a card handles all three, so the thinking and remembering move with the task instead of staying with one person.
Do you need to buy the cards to use Fair Play?
The book describes a figurative card game, so a written list of tasks works. Penguin Random House also publishes a physical Fair Play Deck.
Do It in Buhata
Household Space
Add each card you deal as a chore in your Household Space in Buhata, with its owner's name on it.
Open BuhataRelated Terms and Categories
- Mental load
The unseen work of noticing, planning and remembering everything a household needs, even when someone else carries out the task.
- Cognitive labor
The thinking work of running a household: anticipating needs, finding options, making decisions and checking that things got done.
- Invisible labor
Work that keeps a home or workplace running but isn't recognized as work, often because it's unpaid or unseen, like planning, scheduling and remembering.
- Fair share of chores
The portion of a household's chores each person takes on, judged against what everyone agrees is fair given their other work and commitments.
- Equitable vs equal
Equal means splitting something the same way for everyone; equitable means splitting it fairly given each person's circumstances, which may not be 50/50.
Sources
Fair Play Life, "The Fair Play Book"; Eve Rodsky, "Fair Play" (everodsky.com); Penguin Random House, "Fair Play by Eve Rodsky"; Penguin Random House, "The Fair Play Deck by Eve Rodsky"
- www.fairplaylife.com/the-book
- www.everodsky.com/fair-play
- www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/605905/fair-play-by-eve-rodsky
- www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/647409/the-fair-play-deck-by-eve-rodsky
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