Negative self-talk

What It Means

Negative self-talk is the critical running commentary in your own head, the thoughts that put you down, expect the worst or blow a small problem out of proportion. Mayo Clinic names several common forms, including filtering, where you magnify what went wrong and screen out what went right, plus catastrophizingCatastrophizingA thinking pattern that jumps straight to the worst possible outcome and treats it as likely, often from a small or uncertain trigger. See more and all-or-nothing thinkingAll-or-nothing thinkingA thinking pattern that sees things in only two extremes, total success or total failure, with nothing in between; also called black-and-white thinking. See more. According to Mayo Clinic, changing it means approaching hard situations in a more positive and productive way, without ignoring what's unpleasant.

How People Say It

• "I'm my own worst critic."
• "There's a voice in my head telling me I'm not good enough."
• "I'd never talk to a friend the way I talk to myself."

The Breakdown

Signs of negative self-talk

• After one mistake, you call yourself a failure.
• You remember the one criticism and forget the five compliments, which Mayo Clinic calls filtering.
• A small setback turns into a disaster in your head.
• Things feel either perfect or ruined, with nothing in between.

A short self-check. Mayo Clinic suggests stopping now and then during the day to look at what you're thinking. Pick three moments today, such as after lunch, on the drive home and before bed. If most of what you notice is negative, look for a more balanced way to put the same facts.

A way to change it. Take the harsh thought and write a version you could say to a good friend. Keep the facts and drop the insult: "I forgot the form" stays, "because I'm useless" goes.

Starting the conversation. If your inner voice is relentless, tell someone you trust: "I've been really hard on myself lately and I can't seem to switch it off."

Good to Know

Talk to a doctor or a licensed mental health professional if negative thoughts are frequent, feel impossible to shift or get in the way of daily life. This page describes a common thinking pattern and doesn't diagnose anything. If you're thinking about suicide or are in crisis, call or text 988 (the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). Call 911 in an emergency.

Related Terms and Categories

• Cognitive distortion

  A habitual, automatic way of thinking that bends the facts in a negative direction, such as jumping to the worst case or seeing things as all good or all bad.

• Catastrophizing

  A thinking pattern that jumps straight to the worst possible outcome and treats it as likely, often from a small or uncertain trigger.

• All-or-nothing thinking

  A thinking pattern that sees things in only two extremes, total success or total failure, with nothing in between; also called black-and-white thinking.

• Self-compassion

  Treating yourself with the kindness you'd offer a friend when you struggle; researcher Kristin Neff describes three parts: self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness.

Wellbeing and habits