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Personal values

The principles and qualities a person holds most important, such as honesty, family or creativity, which guide their choices and how they judge events.

What It Means

Personal values are the principles and qualities you care about most, such as honesty, caring for others, independence or creativity, and they shape what you choose and how you judge what happens to you. The APA Dictionary of Psychology describes a person's value system as the moral, social, aesthetic, economic and religious ideas they accept, whether they've ever said them out loud or not. Your values are your own: two people can hold the same ones and rank them differently.

Try It: Sort Eight Values Into Piles

Eight values from the Personal Values Card Sort. Put each in a pile: very important to me, important, or not important right now.

Very important0
Important8
Not right now0

Everything is in the middle pile. Move the two or three that matter most to "very important".

How People Say It

  • "Family comes first for me, so I turned down the promotion."
  • "That job just didn't fit my values."
  • "I want our kids to grow up valuing kindness over winning."

The Breakdown

Signs your days and your values are out of step

  • You feel uneasy about a choice even when it made sense on paper.
  • Your calendar is full of things you wouldn't name as important.
  • Decisions drag on because two things you care about pull in opposite directions.
  • You feel resentful about where your time or money goes.

A short self-check (Buhata's own). Write your top three values. For each, name one thing you did last week that showed it. A value with nothing next to it is a good place to start: add one small action this week.

The card sort. The Personal Values Card Sort, published by the University of New Mexico's CASAA, gives you a deck of values, each with a short description, to sort by how important each one is to you. The tool above uses eight of its values and three piles of our own.

Starting the conversation. With a partner or family: "If we each picked our top three values, what would they be? Let's see where they overlap before we plan next year."

Where It Comes From

The Personal Values Card Sort was written by W. R. Miller, J. C'de Baca, D. B. Matthews and P. L. Wilbourne and is published by the University of New Mexico's CASAA. The broader idea of a value system appears in the APA Dictionary of Psychology.

Good to Know

There's no right list of values, and yours can shift as your life changes, so repeat the sort every year or after a big change. When thinking about what matters brings up persistent emptiness, hopelessness or a feeling that nothing matters, talk to a doctor or a licensed mental health professional. If you're thinking about suicide or are in crisis, call or text 988 (the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). Call 911 in an emergency.

FAQ

What are examples of personal values?

Honesty, family, independence, caring, creativity, achievement, compassion and challenge are common ones. The Personal Values Card Sort lists many more, each with a short description.

How do I find my personal values?

Sort a list of values by how important each one is to you, keep the top few, then check them against how you spent last week. A card sort makes the sorting quick.

What's the difference between values and goals?

Goals can be finished, like running a 5K, while a value such as health is a direction you keep choosing long after any one goal is done.

Do It in Buhata

Habit streaks (Plus), Notes (Premium), Reminders

Pick one small daily action for your top value and track it in Habit streaks (Plus), then write a line about it on that day's page in Notes (Premium).

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Related Terms and Categories

  • Values-based budgeting

    A budget built around the few things that matter most to you, so your flexible spending goes to those priorities first.

  • Journaling

    Writing down your thoughts and feelings, in a notebook or an app, to understand them more clearly and to see what's behind your stress.

  • Self-compassion

    Treating yourself with the kindness you'd offer a friend when you struggle; researcher Kristin Neff describes three parts: self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness.

  • Gratitude journal

    A notebook or app where you regularly write down specific things you're grateful for, often up to five at a time, once a week.

Wellbeing and habits

Sources

American Psychological Association, APA Dictionary of Psychology, "value system"; W. R. Miller, J. C'de Baca, D. B. Matthews and P. L. Wilbourne, "Personal Values Card Sort", University of New Mexico CASAA; 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

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