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Parenting and child development

Slow-to-warm-up child

One of Thomas and Chess's three temperament types: a child who holds back from new people and places at first, then warms up with repeated exposure.

What It Means

A slow-to-warm-up child tends to hold back from new people, places and activities at first, then settles in once they've had time and repeated exposure. The term comes from Alexander Thomas and Stella Chess. In the New York Longitudinal Study, begun in the 1950s, they rated infants from 2 months of age on nine traits, using parents' reports, and described three broad types: easy, difficult and slow-to-warm-up.

Try It: Watch a Child Warm Up Over Four Visits

An example: a cautious 4-year-old starting a weekly swim class. Move the slider through the visits.

Visit number1

Stays by the wall, holds your hand and watches the others.

Holding back at first, then adjusting with repeated exposure, is the pattern Thomas and Chess described. The pace here is only an example.

How Parents Say It

  • "She needs a few minutes to size things up."
  • "He hid behind my legs, then didn't want to leave."
  • "Give him a week and he'll be fine."

The Breakdown

How it can look by age (our examples of the pattern Thomas and Chess describe)

StageWhat you might notice
InfancyFusses at a first bath or a new food, then accepts it after a few tries
ToddlerToddlerA child from 1 to 3 years old, the stage CDC's parenting guidance places between infancy and the preschool years. See more and preschoolWatches from your lap at a party before joining; takes a few mornings to settle at a new daycare
School ageQuiet for the first weeks of a new class or team, then fully part of it

Ways to help (our suggestions, built on the pattern of adjusting with repeated exposure)

  1. Tell your child ahead of time what's coming and who will be there.
  2. Arrive a little early, before a room gets busy.
  3. Let them watch first without pushing them to join.
  4. Go back more than once; repeated exposure is how this type adjusts.
  5. Tell a new teacher or sitter that your child likes to watch first.

When to talk to the doctor. A slow start in new places is a temperamentTemperamentA child's inborn style of reacting to the world, like how active, regular, intense or quick to adapt they are, which shapes behavior from infancy. See more style. CDC's 3-year checklist includes calming down within 1010,000 stepsA popular daily step goal that began as the name of a 1960s Japanese pedometer; later studies find health benefits begin well below it. See more minutes after a parent leaves, like at childcare drop-off. If your child doesn't settle even after many visits, avoids other children most of the time, or the worry stops them from doing everyday things, talk with their doctor. CDC recommends raising any concern about how your child plays, acts or gets along with others.

Where It Comes From

Alexander Thomas and Stella Chess described the slow-to-warm-up type from their New York Longitudinal Study, begun in the 1950s, alongside the easy and difficult types. Reviews in PubMed Central describe these children as lower in activity, withdrawing from new things at first and adjusting gradually with repeated exposure.

Good to Know

HealthyChildren.org, the AAP's site for parents, describes a trait it calls approach and withdrawal: how a child first responds to something new, quickly and boldly or slowly and hesitantly. A slow-to-warm-up child sits toward the hesitant end. Describing what your child does ("you like to watch first") gives them words for their own style.

FAQ

What does slow to warm up mean?

A child who is cautious with new people and situations at first and settles in after some time and repeated exposure. It's one of the three temperament types Thomas and Chess described.

Is a slow-to-warm-up child just shy?

People often use the words the same way. Thomas and Chess's term names a pattern of holding back at first and then adjusting with repeated exposure, which is why time and repeat visits help.

When should I worry about a slow-to-warm-up child?

Talk with your child's doctor if they never settle even after many visits, avoid other children most of the time, or anxiety keeps them from everyday activities. CDC recommends raising any developmental concern.

Do It in Buhata

Handoff Card, Calendar

Add your child's first-day tips, like "arrive early and let him watch first," to your Handoff Card (Premium) in Buhata before a new sitter or class starts.

Open Buhata

Related Terms and Categories

  • Temperament

    A child's inborn style of reacting to the world, like how active, regular, intense or quick to adapt they are, which shapes behavior from infancy.

  • Easy temperament

    One of Thomas and Chess's three temperament types: a child with regular eating and sleeping, who adapts readily to change and is mostly in a positive mood.

  • Stranger anxiety

    A baby's wariness or fear around people they don't know, often showing up at about 8 to 9 months. CDC lists it as a 9-month milestone.

  • Highly sensitive child

    Researcher Elaine Aron's term for a child with the trait she calls sensory processing sensitivity: deep processing, easily overstimulated, strongly responsive.

Parenting and child development

Sources

"Temperament and Its Role in Developmental Psychopathology" (PubMed Central); "Observed Profiles of Infant Temperament: Stability, Heritability, and Associations with Parenting" (PubMed Central); HealthyChildren.org (AAP), "Understanding Your Child's Temperament: Why It's Important"; CDC, "CDC's Developmental Milestones"; CDC, "Milestone Checklists by Age"

Last updated .