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Stranger anxiety

A baby's wariness or fear around people they don't know, often showing up at about 8 to 9 months. CDC lists it as a 9-month milestone.

What It Means

Stranger anxiety is a baby's wariness, crying or clinging around people they don't know well. Nemours KidsHealth explains that at about 8 to 9 months babies can recognize the faces of people they know, so a new face, even a new babysitter or a relative, can seem scary. CDC lists being shy, clingy or fearful around strangers among the social and emotional milestonesDevelopmental milestonesSkills most children can do by a certain age, like rolling over or waving bye-bye. CDC places each at the age 75% or more of children reach it. See more most babies show by 9 months, which makes it an expected step in development.

Try It: Flip Through Stranger Anxiety Basics

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What it looks like

Being shy, clingy or fearful around people the baby doesn't know. It can happen with a new sitter or a relative too.

When it shows up

Often around 8 to 9 months, when babies can tell familiar faces from new ones (Nemours KidsHealth). It's on CDC's list for 9 months.

Is it a problem?

CDC counts it as a milestone most babies reach by 9 months, so it's part of typical development. Ask your baby's doctor about anything that worries you.

How to help

Hold your baby while they get used to the new person. Soothing words and a hug help your baby feel safe.

Before a new sitter starts

Plan the first handover for a time your baby is rested and fed, not right before a nap or meal (Nemours KidsHealth).

How Parents Say It

  • "She cries every time Grandpa picks her up."
  • "He used to go to anyone, and now he won't."
  • "Give her a minute to warm up to you."

The Breakdown

By age

AgeWhat you may seeSource
About 8 to 9 monthsBabies can now recognize the faces of people they know, so a new face can seem scary, even a new sitter or relativeNemours KidsHealth
By 9 monthsBeing shy, clingy or fearful around strangers is on the social and emotional list that 75% or more of babies meet by this ageCDC
8 months to 1 yearSeparation anxiety is first likely to appear, so KidsHealth suggests not starting care with an unfamiliar person in this window if you can avoid itNemours KidsHealth

What helps

  • Hold your baby while a new person visits, so your baby can get used to them from a safe spot. KidsHealth says the new person soon stops seeming like a stranger.
  • Offer a hug or soothing words.
  • Time first meetings and handovers for when your baby is rested and fed.

When to talk to the doctor. CDC recommends talking with your child's doctor about any concern with how your child plays, learns, speaks, acts or moves. If the fear worries you, bring it up at the next checkup.

Good to Know

Separation anxiety, which KidsHealth covers on its own page, is about a parent or caregiver leaving, while stranger anxiety is about new people. If you're unsure whether what you see is typical, CDC's milestone checklist for your baby's age is a good starting point for the conversation with the doctor.

FAQ

At what age does stranger anxiety start?

Nemours KidsHealth says it often appears around 8 to 9 months, when babies can recognize familiar faces. CDC lists being shy, clingy or fearful around strangers among the milestones most babies show by 9 months.

Is stranger anxiety normal?

Yes. CDC includes it on its 9-month checklist as a social and emotional milestone that 75% or more of babies reach by that age. Talk to your baby's doctor if something about it worries you.

How can I help my baby with stranger anxiety?

Hold your baby while they get used to a new person, and give it time. Nemours KidsHealth also suggests planning separations for when your baby is rested and fed.

Do It in Buhata

Handoff Card, Calendar

Before a new sitter's first visit, fill in a Handoff Card (Premium) in Buhata so what settles your baby is written down on one page.

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Related Terms and Categories

  • Developmental milestones

    Skills most children can do by a certain age, like rolling over or waving bye-bye. CDC places each at the age 75% or more of children reach it.

  • Social-emotional development

    How a child learns to understand their own feelings, read other people's, and build relationships, from early smiles to taking turns in games.

  • Slow-to-warm-up child

    One of Thomas and Chess's three temperament types: a child who holds back from new people and places at first, then warms up with repeated exposure.

Parenting and child development

Sources

CDC, "Milestones by 9 Months"; Nemours KidsHealth, "Childhood Fears and Worries"; Nemours KidsHealth, "Separation Anxiety"

Last updated .