What It Means
Social-emotional development is how a child comes to notice and handle their own feelings, pick up on how other people feel, and form relationships with family and other children. CDC tracks it as "social and emotional," one of the four areas on its milestone checklists, alongside language, cognitive and movement skills. It shows up in small, everyday moments, like a toddlerToddlerA child from 1 to 3 years old, the stage CDC's parenting guidance places between infancy and the preschool years. See more going quiet when a sibling cries or a preschoolerPreschoolerA child from 3 to 5 years old, the age band the CDC uses for its preschool parenting guidance. See more waiting for a turn at a game.
Try It: Step Through Four Social-Emotional Milestones
Step through four milestones from CDC's social and emotional lists. Each sits at the age by which 75% or more of children do it.
Notices when others are hurt or upset, like pausing or looking sad when someone cries.
Calms down within 10 minutes after you leave, like at childcare drop-off.
Comforts others who are hurt or sad.
Follows rules or takes turns when playing games with other children.
How Parents Say It
- "She gave her brother her blanket when he was crying."
- "He's finally okay at drop-off."
- "They're learning to take turns."
The Breakdown
Social and emotional milestones, from CDC's checklists
| By this age | Most children (75% or more) |
|---|---|
| 2 years | Notice when others are hurt or upset, like pausing or looking sad when someone is crying |
| 3 years | Calm down within 1010,000 stepsA popular daily step goal that began as the name of a 1960s Japanese pedometer; later studies find health benefits begin well below it. See more minutes after you leave them, like at a childcare drop-off |
| 4 years | Comfort others who are hurt or sad |
| 5 years | Follow rules or take turns when playing games with other children |
Each checklist has more social and emotional items than the one shown here, and children reach them at different times. The ages mark where most children already are, so plenty get there sooner.
What you might notice at home. A 2-year-old watches your face when a friend falls over. A 3-year-old cries at drop-off and then settles into play. A 4-year-old pats a crying friend on the back. A 5-year-old plays a board game through to the end without walking off when losing.
When to talk to the doctor. CDC recommends talking with your child's doctor about any concern with how your child plays, acts or gets along with others. Because each milestone sits where most children have already reached it, one missing item is reason enough to ask. Bring the checklist for your child's age, and a couple of recent examples of how your child reacts to other people.
Good to Know
CDC's milestone checklists are free on its "Learn the Signs. Act Early." site, with one for each well-child visit from 2 months to 5 years. Social and emotional growth is tied closely to the other areas: a child who can put feelings into words has an easier time calming down and playing with others, so the language and social lists often move together.
FAQ
What are examples of social-emotional development in toddlers?
CDC lists noticing when others are hurt or upset by 2 years, and calming down within 10 minutes after a parent leaves, like at childcare drop-off, by 3 years. Both show a child reading feelings, their own and other people's.
At what age do children start comforting others?
CDC lists comforting others who are hurt or sad among the milestonesDevelopmental milestonesSkills most children can do by a certain age, like rolling over or waving bye-bye. CDC places each at the age 75% or more of children reach it. See more most children reach by 4 years. Younger children often show the first signs earlier, by noticing when someone is upset.
Who do I talk to if I'm worried about my child's social skills?
Start with your child's doctor, which is CDC's advice for any developmental concern. The doctor can screen your child and, if needed, refer you to a specialist.
Do It in Buhata
Calendar, Reminders
Put each well-child visit on the Calendar in your Household Space in Buhata, with a Reminder a few days ahead to read through CDC's social and emotional milestones for your child's age.
Open BuhataRelated Terms and Categories
- Developmental milestones
Skills most children can do by a certain age, like rolling over or waving bye-bye. CDC places each at the age 75% or more of children reach it.
- Emotional regulation
The growing ability to notice a feeling and manage how strongly it shows and how long it lasts, so a child can calm down and carry on.
- Empathy development
How a child learns to notice, understand and care about what other people feel, from spotting a crying friend at 2 to comforting one by 4.
- Stranger anxiety
A baby's wariness or fear around people they don't know, often showing up at about 8 to 9 months. CDC lists it as a 9-month milestone.
Sources
CDC, "CDC's Developmental Milestones"; CDC, "Milestones by 2 Years"; CDC, "Milestones by 3 Years"; CDC, "Milestones In Action: By 3 Years"; CDC, "Milestones by 4 Years"; CDC, "Milestones by 5 Years"
- www.cdc.gov/act-early/milestones/index.html
- www.cdc.gov/act-early/milestones/2-years.html
- www.cdc.gov/act-early/milestones/3-years.html
- www.cdc.gov/act-early/milestones-in-action/3-years.html
- www.cdc.gov/act-early/milestones/4-years.html
- www.cdc.gov/act-early/milestones/5-years.html
Last updated .