Tiger parenting

What It Means

Tiger parenting is a strict, high-pressure way of raising children that puts academic and musical achievement first and leaves the child little say. The term comes from Amy Chua, a Yale Law School professor, whose 2011 memoir "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" described raising her daughters this way. In its Monitor on Psychology, the APA summarized the book's approach as putting achievement ahead of a child's happiness and self-esteemSelf-esteemHow a person feels about themselves and what they can do. In a child, healthy self-esteem shows as feeling liked, accepted and able to try again after a mistake. See more, allowing little independence, and using shame to motivate.

How Parents Say It

• "She's a total tiger mom about piano."
• "No sleepovers until the grades come up."
• "My parents were tiger parents before that was a word."

The Breakdown

How it sits beside the research styles. Tiger parenting is a popular label and sits outside the four styles in parenting research, though its mix of high demands and strict control overlaps with the authoritarian style.

What it can look like by age, with a warmer version. Buhata's own examples.

When to talk to someone. If your child seems anxious, sad or afraid of failing, or pressure at home has become a daily fight, talk with your pediatrician or the school counselor.

Where It Comes From

Amy Chua's memoir "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" came out in 2011 and started a worldwide debate about strict parentingAuthoritarian parentingA parenting style high in rules and control but low in warmth, where children are expected to obey without discussion. One of the four styles in parenting research. See more, according to her own site. The same year, she was named one of Time magazine's 100 most influential people.

Good to Know

The APA's Monitor on Psychology reported in 2013 on research finding that tiger parenting doesn't create child prodigies and can harm children's well-being and success at school. Separately, the AAP advises parents against discipline that insults, humiliates or shames children, which is on HealthyChildren.org, the AAP's site for parents. High expectations can sit alongside warmth, which is how researchers describe the authoritative style.

Related Terms and Categories

• Helicopter parenting

  A style of parenting where a parent stays overly involved in a child's life, hovering close to manage problems, choices and schoolwork, sometimes into adulthood.

• Authoritarian parenting

  A parenting style high in rules and control but low in warmth, where children are expected to obey without discussion. One of the four styles in parenting research.

• Authoritative parenting

  A parenting style that pairs warmth and responsiveness with clear rules and high expectations. It is one of the four styles in parenting research.

• Growth mindset

  The belief that abilities like intelligence and talent can grow with effort, good strategies and help, a term from psychologist Carol Dweck.

• Self-esteem

  How a person feels about themselves and what they can do. In a child, healthy self-esteem shows as feeling liked, accepted and able to try again after a mistake.

Parenting and child development