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Parenting and child development

Authoritarian parenting

A parenting style high in rules and control but low in warmth, where children are expected to obey without discussion. One of the four styles in parenting research.

What It Means

Authoritarian parenting is a style high in demandingness (strict rules, close control, high expectations) and low in responsiveness (warmth, listening, explaining). Researcher Diana Baumrind described it in the 1960s, and it is one of the four styles Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin laid out in 1983. Rules usually come without reasons, questions can read as defiance, and breaking a rule brings punishment.

Try It: Spot the Authoritarian Reply

Your 9-year-old won't stop a video game at bedtime. Pick the reply that fits the authoritarian style.

Tap a reply to see which style it fits.

How Parents Say It

  • "Because I said so."
  • "In this house, you don't talk back."
  • "My dad ran the house like a drill sergeant."

The Breakdown

Where it sits, per Britannica and research reviews on PubMed Central

StyleResponsiveness (warmth)Demandingness (control)
AuthoritarianLowHigh
AuthoritativeHighHigh

The same limit, two ways, by age. Buhata's own examples, to show the difference in tone.

AgeAuthoritarian replyAuthoritative reply
ToddlerToddlerA child from 1 to 3 years old, the stage CDC's parenting guidance places between infancy and the preschool years. See more"Stop crying or you're going to your room.""You're sad we're leaving. Shoes on, and you can hold my hand to the car."
School age"Do your homework. I don't care that it's hard.""Homework first. Show me the hard part and we'll start it together."
Teen"You're not going. End of discussion.""Not this time, and here's why. Let's talk about what would change my answer."

Signs Cleveland Clinic describes. Firm rules with little room for affection, high expectations, and harsh consequences for mistakes. Children may copy the harshness and act aggressively, or become so afraid of punishment that they turn passive and anxious.

When to talk to someone. If you find yourself yelling or threatening more than you'd like, your child's pediatrician can talk through other ways to handle discipline.

Good to Know

In its 2018 policy statement "Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children," the AAP advised parents not to spank, hit, slap, threaten, insult, humiliate or shame children as discipline. It said harsh approaches, yelling and shaming included, work little in the short term and not at all over the long term, and it linked harsh verbal discipline to mental health problems in preteens and teens. HealthyChildren.org, the AAP's site for parents, carries the same advice and suggests positive disciplinePositive disciplineDiscipline that teaches a child how to behave through modeling, clear limits, calm consequences and attention, without hitting, yelling or shaming. See more instead.

FAQ

What's an example of authoritarian parenting?

A parent who answers "why?" with "because I said so" and hands out a harsh punishment for a small slip. Rules are strict and nonnegotiable, and there's little warmth or explanation.

How does authoritarian parenting affect children?

Research summarized by Britannica and on PubMed Central associates it with less favorable outcomes than authoritative parentingAuthoritative parentingA parenting style that pairs warmth and responsiveness with clear rules and high expectations. It is one of the four styles in parenting research. See more. Cleveland Clinic says children may become aggressive, or fearful, passive and anxious.

Is strict parenting the same as authoritarian parenting?

Strictness is half of it. Authoritative parents are strict too; what marks the authoritarian style is strict control combined with low warmth and little explanation.

Do It in Buhata

Household Space

Write each house rule with its reason in your Household Space in Buhata, so the "why" is there for everyone to read.

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Related Terms and Categories

  • Authoritative parenting

    A parenting style that pairs warmth and responsiveness with clear rules and high expectations. It is one of the four styles in parenting research.

  • Permissive parenting

    A parenting style that is warm and accepting but sets few rules or limits. Researchers also call it indulgent parenting; it is one of the four styles.

  • Uninvolved parenting

    A parenting style low in both warmth and rules, where a parent gives little attention, guidance or supervision. Also called neglectful parenting.

  • Parenting style

    The overall way a parent guides a child, usually described on two dimensions, warmth and demands, which give four styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and uninvolved.

  • Positive discipline

    Discipline that teaches a child how to behave through modeling, clear limits, calm consequences and attention, without hitting, yelling or shaming.

Parenting and child development

Sources

Britannica, "Parenting: Parenting styles and child outcomes"; PubMed Central (NIH), "Parenting Dimensions and Styles: A Brief History and Recommendations for Future Research"; PubMed Central (NIH), "Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept"; Cleveland Clinic, "The 4 Parenting Styles and Their Effect on Kids"; American Academy of Pediatrics, "Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children," Pediatrics, 2018; AAP News, "AAP recommends positive discipline rather than physical, verbal punishment"; HealthyChildren.org (AAP), "American Academy of Pediatrics Updates Policy on Corporal Punishment"; HealthyChildren.org (AAP), "What's the Best Way to Discipline My Child?"

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