Family mission statement

What It Means

A family mission statement is a few sentences, or a short list, that says what a family cares about and how its members aim to treat each other and use their time. Families write it together and use it to guide ordinary choices, like how to handle a disagreement or what to say yes to. It can be rewritten as the family changes.

How It Sounds at Home

• "Remember, in this family we help each other."
• "Let's read our family statement again."
• "Does that fit what we said we care about?"

The Breakdown

How to write one

1. Bring it up at a family meetingFamily meetingA short, regular sit-down where everyone in the household shares news, looks ahead at the week and makes decisions together. See more and explain the idea in a sentence: we're going to write down what matters to us.
2. Ask open questions and write down every answer, from every age.
3. Look for the words and ideas that come up again and again.
4. Draft three to six short sentences in plain language that kids can say back to you.
5. Read the draft aloud, change anything that doesn't sound like your family, and agree on a version.
6. Put it somewhere everyone will see it, and revisit it once a year or after a big change, such as a move or a new baby.

Try it today. At dinner, ask everyone for three words that describe your family at its best, and write them all down.

An example to adapt. "In our family we tell the truth, we help without being asked, we make time to play, and we say sorry when we get it wrong."

Where It Comes From

The idea is tied to Stephen R. Covey's 7 Habits framework. The second habit, Begin With the End in Mind, is about deciding what you're aiming for before you act, and FranklinCovey's material on it names family mission statements alongside personal and organizational ones as the place those priorities get written down. Covey applied the habits to home life in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, which also covers holding family meetings, keeping promises and balancing each person's needs with the family's.

Good to Know

FranklinCovey compares a personal mission statement to a personal constitution, a short document that keeps your goals in focus, and a family statement can play that part for a household. A version written by one parent and handed to everyone else leaves the rest of the family out of it, so give every member a say, even the youngest. Keep it short enough to remember, and treat it as a draft you can change.

Related Terms and Categories

• Family meeting

  A short, regular sit-down where everyone in the household shares news, looks ahead at the week and makes decisions together.

• Family rules

  A short list of clear, specific statements about the behavior a family expects, agreed on by the adults and applied the same way every time.

• Personal values

  The principles and qualities a person holds most important, such as honesty, family or creativity, which guide their choices and how they judge events.

Family organization and routines