What It Means
A family meeting is a planned, regular time when the people in a household sit down together to share good news, talk about goals, look at what's coming up and settle decisions that affect everyone. HealthyChildren.org, the American Academy of Pediatrics' site for parents, suggests holding them at a regular, pleasant time, such as after dinner. It also suggests keeping them to 20 or 30 minutes unless the family wants to keep going.
Try It: A Family Meeting Clock
A clock for your next family meeting. Press start and follow the prompt for each part.
First part: good news, goals reached and effort worth praising.
Middle part: what's coming up, like a school event or a trip, and one decision to make together.
Last part: read back the agreements and write them down.
Time. Ask how the meeting went and what would make the next one better.
How It Sounds at Home
- "Family meeting after dinner, everybody."
- "Save it for Sunday's meeting."
- "Who's writing things down this week?"
The Breakdown
How to run one
- Pick a regular time that's usually calm, such as after dinner on the same night each week.
- Keep it to 20 or 30 minutes, the length HealthyChildren.org suggests, unless everyone wants to continue.
- Have one adult lead and explain the ground rules at the start.
- Open with good news: what went well, goals someone reached, effort worth noticing.
- Go over what's coming up and anything the family needs to decide.
- Let each person speak without being criticized or interrupted.
- Write down the main points, progress on goals and any agreements.
- Before you finish, ask how the meeting went and what would make the next one better.
Try it today. Tonight after dinner, give everyone two minutes to share one good thing from the week and one thing coming up, and write both lists down.
What to leave out. HealthyChildren.org says a family meeting shouldn't be used to scold, punish, bring up old mistakes, vent or single out one person. Handle those privately, one-on-oneOne-on-one meetingA regular private meeting between a manager and one person who reports to them, used for check-ins, feedback, problems and career growth. See more, at another time.
Good to Know
HealthyChildren.org lists a few things a meeting can include beyond planning: handing out allowancesAllowanceA set amount of money a child gets on a regular schedule to manage, often with an agreement about what it has to cover. See more, praising progress on behavior, and talking about each person's needs and goals as well as the family's. The written record matters too. Notes on the main points, rewards, progress, new goals and agreements give you something to follow up on at the next meeting.
FAQ
How long should a family meeting last?
HealthyChildren.org suggests no more than 20 or 30 minutes, unless the family wants to continue. Holding it at the same time each week helps it become part of the routine.
What do you talk about in a family meeting?
Good news and accomplishments, upcoming events such as a trip or a school event, goals, and decisions that affect everyone. Discipline and complaints about one person belong in a private conversation, according to HealthyChildren.org.
How often should families have a family meeting?
HealthyChildren.org recommends a regular, pleasant time, such as after dinner. Weekly fits well if you use the meeting to plan the coming week.
Do It in Buhata
Quick Poll, Boards and channels
Settle the meeting's decisions with a Quick Poll in your Household Space in Buhata, and post the agreements on the Household's board so everyone can look back at them.
Open BuhataRelated Terms and Categories
- Family mission statement
A short written statement, made together, of what a family values and how its members want to treat each other and spend their time.
- Family rules
A short list of clear, specific statements about the behavior a family expects, agreed on by the adults and applied the same way every time.
- State of the union meeting
A weekly check-in, about an hour long, where a couple trades appreciations, notes what went well, then talks through one issue with understanding before solutions.
- Active listening
Listening with full attention and showing you understood, by reflecting back what the other person said and felt before you reply with your own view.
- I statements
A way of raising a problem by speaking about your own feelings and needs ("I feel ... when ...") instead of blaming the other person ("You always ...").
Sources
HealthyChildren.org (American Academy of Pediatrics), "How to Have a Family Meeting"
Last updated .