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Parenting and child development

Time-out

A short, set break in a time-out spot after a misbehavior a child was warned about, about one minute per year of age in CDC's toddler guidance.

What It Means

A time-out is a brief, set break a child spends in a time-out spot after a misbehavior you've warned them about. CDC's Essentials for Parenting ToddlersToddlerA child from 1 to 3 years old, the stage CDC's parenting guidance places between infancy and the preschool years. See more, written for children ages 2 to 4, lays it out in five steps: a warning, a short explanation, a set time in the time-out spot, a calm ending, and praise for the next good thing the child does. For length, the rule of thumb CDC gives is one minute for each year of the child's age.

Try It: Run a Time-Out Timer by Age

Pick your child's age. CDC's rule is one minute for each year. Press start once your child is in the time-out spot; tap the age again to reset.

Time left3:00
Minutes for this age3

Stay calm while the timer runs.

How Parents Say It

  • "If you throw the truck again, you'll go to time-out."
  • "That's three minutes on the step."
  • "You can come out now. Thanks for sitting quietly."

The Breakdown

How long, by age, using CDC's one minute per year

Child's ageTime-out length
2 years2 minutes
3 years3 minutes
4 years4 minutes

CDC's five steps

  1. Give a warning. Say it calmly and clearly, as a statement and not a question: if the behavior keeps going, it's time-out.
  2. Explain. Tell your child they're going to time-out and why, in a calm, firm voice, such as "You have to go to time-out because you didn't put away your toys."
  3. Start the time-out. Lead your child by the hand, or carry them safely, to the time-out spot, and tell them to stay until you say they can get up.
  4. End it calmly. When the time is up and your child has been quiet for five seconds, tell them they can come out.
  5. Praise. Watch for the next good thing your child does and praise it with enthusiasm.

Try it today. Buhata's suggestion: pick the spot now, before you need it, and walk through the steps once while everyone is calm.

When to talk to the doctor. If outbursts are frequent or intense, or your child seems unusually aggressive for more than a few weeks, bring it up with your pediatrician. Buhata's tantrum vs meltdownTantrum vs meltdownA tantrum is an outburst in which a child still has some control; a meltdown is a loss of control from feeling overwhelmed. See more page explains how to tell an angry outburst from an overwhelmed one.

Good to Know

CDC's toddler pages are written for ages 2 to 4, and they include a separate page of tips for when time-out doesn't go to plan, plus a separate page on using time-in. The praise in step 5 matters as much as the break: CDC's parenting pages say specific praiseDescriptive praisePraise that names exactly what the child did well, such as "You put every block back in the bin," in place of a general "Good job." See more right after a good behavior tells a child exactly what to do again.

FAQ

How long should a time-out be?

CDC's rule of thumb is one minute for each year of your child's age: two minutes for a 2-year-old, three for a 3-year-old.

When does a time-out end?

CDC says to end it once the time is up and your child has been quiet for five seconds, then to praise the next good thing they do.

What should I say before a time-out?

Give a calm, clear warning as a statement, not a question. If the behavior continues, tell your child they're going to time-out and name the reason.

Do It in Buhata

Focus

Set a countdown in Focus in Buhata for one minute per year of your child's age, so the time-out ends on time without you watching the clock.

Open Buhata

Related Terms and Categories

  • Positive discipline

    Discipline that teaches a child how to behave through modeling, clear limits, calm consequences and attention, without hitting, yelling or shaming.

  • Descriptive praise

    Praise that names exactly what the child did well, such as "You put every block back in the bin," in place of a general "Good job."

  • Tantrum vs meltdown

    A tantrum is an outburst in which a child still has some control; a meltdown is a loss of control from feeling overwhelmed.

  • Logical consequences

    A consequence a parent sets up that is directly tied to what the child did, like toys left out being put away for the rest of the day.

Parenting and child development

Sources

CDC, Essentials for Parenting Toddlers, "How to Use Time-Out"; CDC, "Tips for Using Time-Out"; CDC, "Tips for Handling Time-Out Challenges"; CDC, "How to Use Time-In"

Last updated .