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Parenting and child development

Descriptive praise

Praise that names exactly what the child did well, such as "You put every block back in the bin," in place of a general "Good job."

What It Means

Descriptive praise tells a child exactly which behavior you liked, so they know what to do again. CDC's parenting pages call it specific or labeled praise and contrast it with a general "Great job!", which shows approval without saying what earned it. Saying "You finished your puzzle while I cooked dinner" tells a child much more than "Good boy."

Try It: Spot the Descriptive Praise

In each pair, tap the one that's descriptive praise.

1. After cleanup

2. At the playground

3. After a car ride

Correct0
Out of3

How Parents Say It

  • "I love how you shared the crayons with your sister."
  • "You got your shoes on all by yourself!"
  • "Thanks for using your quiet voice in the library."

The Breakdown

By age and stage

StageHow to use itSource
ToddlersToddlerA child from 1 to 3 years old, the stage CDC's parenting guidance places between infancy and the preschool years. See more and preschoolersPreschoolerA child from 3 to 5 years old, the age band the CDC uses for its preschool parenting guidance. See more, 2 to 4Say exactly what you liked, right after it happensCDC
While a behavior is newPraise it consistently each time you see itChild Mind Institute
Once it's a habitPraise it less often to keep it goingChild Mind Institute
Older childrenName the smartSave More TomorrowA savings plan by Richard Thaler and Shlomo Benartzi in which you agree now to raise your retirement contribution each time you get a pay raise. See more move, such as building a solid base before stacking, rather than calling the child smartChild Mind Institute

How to do it

  1. Catch your child doing something you want more of, which HealthyChildren.org (AAP) calls catching them being good.
  2. Say what they did in plain words, as if describing it to someone who couldn't see.
  3. Add warmth: a smile, a high five or a hug, which CDC counts as social rewards.
  4. Keep it true. The Child Mind Institute says praise should be genuine.

Short version to try today. Swap your next three "Good job!"s for one sentence each that says what the job was.

A related skill. CDC's toddler pages also suggest description during play, narrating what your child is doing like a sports reporter. It isn't praise, but it shows you're paying attention.

Good to Know

CDC counts praise, affection and attention as social rewards that cost nothing and can be more powerful than toys or treats. It also says rewards work best right after the behavior. Praise that names an action can also steer attention toward effort, which connects to process praiseProcess praisePraise for how a child worked, such as effort, strategy, focus or persistence, rather than for a trait like being smart or talented. See more and Carol Dweck's research on mindset.

FAQ

What is an example of descriptive praise?

"You put your toys away!" in place of "Good job!" CDC calls this labeled praise because it labels the behavior you liked.

Is descriptive praise the same as labeled praise?

Yes, in everyday use. CDC's pages say specific or labeled praise, and parents and teachers often call the same thing descriptive praise.

Can you praise too much?

The Child Mind Institute suggests praising a new behavior consistently, then less often once it's established, and keeping all praise genuine.

Do It in Buhata

Household Rewards

Add the behaviors you're praising this week as chores in Household Rewards in Buhata, so every adult at home knows which ones to notice and name.

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Related Terms and Categories

  • Process praise

    Praise for how a child worked, such as effort, strategy, focus or persistence, rather than for a trait like being smart or talented.

  • Praise vs encouragement

    A distinction from Adlerian parenting: praise credits the child for a result, while encouragement credits effort, improvement and what the child did.

  • Positive parenting

    Raising children through warmth, attention, praise for good behavior and teaching, with discipline that avoids harsh punishment. The CDC publishes age-by-age tips.

  • Sticker chart

    A chart where a young child earns a sticker right after each target behavior, with stickers adding up to small and larger rewards.

  • Growth mindset

    The belief that abilities like intelligence and talent can grow with effort, good strategies and help, a term from psychologist Carol Dweck.

  • Self-esteem

    How a person feels about themselves and what they can do. In a child, healthy self-esteem shows as feeling liked, accepted and able to try again after a mistake.

Parenting and child development

Sources

CDC, "Tips for Using Praise and Rewards," Essentials for Parenting Toddlers; CDC, "Tips for Praise, Imitation, and Description," Essentials for Parenting Toddlers; Child Mind Institute, "Does it matter HOW I praise my child?"; HealthyChildren.org (AAP), "What's the Best Way to Discipline My Child?"

Last updated .