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Parenting and child development

Positive parenting

Raising children through warmth, attention, praise for good behavior and teaching, with discipline that avoids harsh punishment. The CDC publishes age-by-age tips.

What It Means

Positive parenting is a broad name for raising children with warmth, attention and encouragement, praising the behavior you want to see and teaching in place of harsh punishment. The CDC uses the phrase for its "Positive Parenting Tips," a set of pages organized by a child's age. For discipline, the AAP uses the term positive disciplinePositive disciplineDiscipline that teaches a child how to behave through modeling, clear limits, calm consequences and attention, without hitting, yelling or shaming. See more, which teaches children to manage their own behavior while keeping them safe.

Try It: Pick an Age, Get a CDC Tip

Choose your child's age for one tip from CDC's Positive Parenting Tips.

Try this

Give lots of loving attention, praise, and time cuddling and holding your baby.

Source: CDC, Positive Parenting Tips.

How Parents Say It

  • "I caught him being good and told him so."
  • "We're trying to praise more and yell less."
  • "Let's focus on what she did right today."

The Breakdown

Tips by age, from CDC's Positive Parenting Tips

AgeOne tip from the CDC
Infants (0 to 1 year)Praise your baby, give lots of loving attention, and spend time cuddling and holding them
ToddlersToddlerA child from 1 to 3 years old, the stage CDC's parenting guidance places between infancy and the preschool years. See more (1 to 2 years)Talk with your toddler, add to the words they start, and let them help dress and feed themselves
Toddlers (2 to 3 years)Give attention and praise for following instructions and good behavior, and limit attention for defiant behavior like tantrums
PreschoolersPreschoolerA child from 3 to 5 years old, the age band the CDC uses for its preschool parenting guidance. See more (3 to 5 years)Keep reading together and build a love of books with trips to the library or bookstore

The CDC's series also includes pages for older children.

A short version to try today. Notice one thing your child does well and name it out loud, specifically. Then give a tantrum or whining episode as little attention as you safely can, and return your attention the moment the behavior settles.

When to talk to someone. If behavior at home feels unmanageable, or you're worried about your child's development, talk with your pediatrician.

Good to Know

The AAP recommends positive discipline and, in its 2018 policy statement "Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children," advised against spanking, hitting, threatening, insulting and shaming, which it said work little in the short term and not in the long term. For ages 2 to 4, the CDC also runs "Essentials for Parenting Toddlers and Preschoolers," a free online resource for parents.

FAQ

What is positive parenting?

Raising children with warmth, attention and praise for good behavior, and teaching in place of harsh punishment. The CDC publishes Positive Parenting Tips for each stage of childhood.

What are examples of positive parenting?

Cuddling and praising a baby, talking with a toddler and building on their words, praising a 2-year-old for following instructions, and reading with a preschooler. All four are from CDC's tips.

Is positive parenting the same as positive discipline?

They overlap. Positive discipline is the AAP's term for the discipline side: teaching children to manage their behavior without spanking, threats or shaming.

Do It in Buhata

Calendar and Reminders

Set a daily Reminder in Buhata for a few minutes of one-on-one time with your child, and put library trips on the Calendar.

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Related Terms and Categories

  • Positive discipline

    Discipline that teaches a child how to behave through modeling, clear limits, calm consequences and attention, without hitting, yelling or shaming.

  • Gentle parenting

    An approach that pairs empathy for a child's feelings with clear, consistent limits, with the parent acting as a coach through hard moments.

  • Authoritative parenting

    A parenting style that pairs warmth and responsiveness with clear rules and high expectations. It is one of the four styles in parenting research.

  • Descriptive praise

    Praise that names exactly what the child did well, such as "You put every block back in the bin," in place of a general "Good job."

  • Emotion coaching

    A way of responding to a child's feelings: notice the emotion, connect, listen, help name it, then solve the problem together, with limits on behavior.

Parenting and child development

Sources

CDC, "Positive Parenting Tips"; CDC, "Positive Parenting Tips: Infants (0 to 1 years)"; CDC, "Positive Parenting Tips: Toddlers (1 to 2 years old)"; CDC, "Positive Parenting Tips: Toddlers (2 to 3 years old)"; CDC, "Positive Parenting Tips: Preschoolers (3 to 5 years old)"; CDC, "Essentials for Parenting Toddlers and Preschoolers"; CDC Stacks, "Positive Parenting Tips for Healthy Child Development: Middle Childhood (6 to 8 Years of Age)," 2015; AAP News, "AAP recommends positive discipline rather than physical, verbal punishment"; American Academy of Pediatrics, "Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children," Pediatrics, 2018; HealthyChildren.org (AAP), "What's the Best Way to Discipline My Child?"

Last updated .